Miss Lackluster .

What a sluggish Sunday afternoon. I feel so listless lately I don’t know what my problem is. Must be that I had tire myself subconsciously sacrificing 3 days of my life to the society, or the thought that I had forcefully enrolled myself into an orientation camp coming Tuesday and I have been trying too hard encouraging myself it will not be boring. Who said going into the next phase of your life is straightforward? Since midweek, I was forced to socialize and befriend new people after almost three months of serene sensation. It was so demanding that at some point, I almost doubt if I could possibly be intoxicated when I made the choice to pursue further. I am one terrible living example of a young burgeoning woman who couldn’t keep to her resolutions she made not so long ago. I can’t even remember why I make them in the first place. And it’s not like I am equipped with other excites; am I prepared to start working and dreadfully start classifying myself as an adult of nine to five? Surely not.

There were more packages addressed to me while I was partially comatose. Bills, graduation packages, post graduate packages, insurance policies and the typical junkies. Again there were heaps of new dates to remember. Seriously are they looking for a brainy child who lives to tear down expired dates from the conventional Chinese calendar? I hate memorizing, and I hate to live my life in a preplanned schedule. Life is free. Freedom is living life the way you want it.

I am a willful person who survives on my own set of existence rules :p.

I missed the days when I can lie down with absolutely nothing in mind and I don’t have to fret over what will happen tomorrow. I know that having analogous thoughts will not make me appear a responsible adult I should to be, but who cares? I reason things quickly, I like defying weak conventions. Why should I attend parties or swim across the waters to another island just to celebrate the birth of my new chapter?

This is preposterous. Just thinking about what lies in front of me makes me feel so restive. How can I look forward to something when I feel so drained just thinking about it?