Worship Me Right

Suppose you are a plumber, can you fix the bathroom lights? If your answer is yes, congratulations, you live in a quirky world. Else, welcome to the planet where old skills have new applied definitions. I get so infuriated explaining my exact scope of knowledge repeatedly to people who can neither understand nor absorb facts, and expect you (who else?) to resolve the I-don’t-know-what-happen-it-just-blanks-out phenomenon. For the thousandth time (and I am officially broadcasting now :O), I AM into software programming, I DEAL with network infrastructures and I MAJOR in broadband communications! Now how does that relate to monitors and keyboard? Yes truthfully, I did take up a couple of PC hardware modules during my three solid years but hey, I’m not planning to overtake the BIOS configuration anytime soon. And to rewrite the setup files? Hell no (:[).

It’s just that I got this rude awakening call from a remotely misplaced (barely existed in my perfectly defined family tree) male cousin (what was his name again?). Apparently, his DIY desktop decided to kill the operating system (Win 98 SE and oh my god people still use that?), and I am supposed to be the “Processor Angel” and bring it back to life naturally over the phone (:[). Of course both sons had to be clueless about “computer stuff” or so their Dad terms it and hails me the next mainframe guru ready to treat any bug. And he was like, “Look, I don’t know anything about computers and CPUs so you got to tell me how to solve it,”

Firstly, you got to give him credit for being totally oblivion to the fact that I cannot reply half a decent sentence in Teochew. But I reckon he’s a cab driver and I don’t speak to my cab driver in my dialect (:P), so I stuck to the number one international language. Secondly, I anticipated he would ditch my precise expertise clarification crap and bombard straight to the inevitable just-tell-me-what-should-I-do-now speech. I decided to save my breath and act the part, I don't want to tarnish my virtually awarded knowledge. So after being forced to call someone on his testy behalf, I contacted the man who sold him the CPU. Damn that guy on the other line seemed pretty freaked out when I introduced myself, he probably thought I'm some unsettled client’s lawyer or something and he was instantly relieved and overly polite when I reassured him I’m some family friend and I’m not calling to arrest you. In the end there was no conclusion, because I told my dear relatives I didn’t have Windows XP operating disk (for an upgrade) and they have to wait till Saturday when all my NS friends come back and I can borrow from them. So the jury will decide coming Saturday. I need a break, what a pathetic get-away.

Just when you thought the night would be forgiving, another distant uncle dropped a courtesy call and inquires about his faulty wireless mouse. I swear I’m going to implement my personal calling hours now, nine to five everyday except weekends and public holidays (totally helpful in my already undeveloped social life :P). It's amazing how the older generation can quickly classify the entire scope of IT into a couple of single unimpressive vocabs (that would drive Bill Gates crazy :]). As if my life isn’t packed enough. So what I’m like the mouse man, correction, woman now?